If I could sit down with the 21 yr old version of myself, here’s what I’d say.

You

You truly know so little.  Charge hard after humility and learning.  You have so much pain you’ve stuffed and numbed. You’d be shocked at your lack of awareness, especially because you think so highly of yourself at the moment. It’s scary but be willing to begin excavating beneath the surface.  And know that God is so near in your pain.  You will learn more about him, who he is and what he thinks about you as you process your pain with him.  And he’ll heal your heart as you participate in the process.

Your God

He understands you, your motives, your behaviors, where they come from, why you do them.  And he doesn’t judge or condemn you for any of it.  He actually empathizes and has compassion for exactly where you’re at.  There’s no hard thing that you’re struggling with that he doesn’t want to lovingly and gently lead you through.  He’s not harsh.  He is more patient with you than you believe he is.  He knows that the very best thing for you is to grow in union and dependency on him.  So there will be things that he does that will feel hard, disciplinary, etc.

You can’t see outside yourself, and right now you are very entrenched in ‘self.’  Your pride is the gravest sin that will keep you from knowing him in ever-increasing intimacy.  Thwarting your pride and self-sufficiency will lead to your undoing.  But will also be the beginning of the uncovering of your true self.  That’s what he is after.  And all that you are after right now pales in comparison to just a taste and glimpse of the freedom and full life he will reveal to you in portions along the journey.

Your family

You have baggage.  The earlier you begin the process of untangling, the more you’ll limit the compound effect of confusion and pain that will come later.

Your friends

Be willing to take courageous steps that will be unpopular and painful now, but will lead to healthy relationships and freedom later.

Your work

Recognize all work is sacred, not just “full-time ministry.”  You are not called to save everyone, but you are called to be a light where you are.  Being different will make you stand out, in an uncomfortable and awkward way. You are blessed and favored when you honor God with your decisions at the expense of more profit, career advancement, or popularity.

Your purpose

You are not the author of your story.  It will get messy when you pick up the pen.  Even if it feels right for a time.  Trust the author of your life and his purpose for you.  Surrender a lot.  Over and over.  You have a knack for trying to make meaning and purpose out of everything.  That’s by design.  But you twist it when left to your own devices.

Recognize that this life is one of paradox.  Go lower.  Acknowledge the beauty of your design while guarding against the battle to write your own story.  If you write the story, you’ll somehow end up as the hero.  Even if you think you’re writing it for and about God.  Empty yourself of the need to be relevant and become somebody.