I’ve been thinking about fantasy lately.  “Fantasizing?” you may ask.  Not quite.

As much as I love sports, I have been gradually decreasing my exposure over the last several years.  It started with reducing my Fantasy Football leagues from 3 to 2.  Then 2 to 1.  I stuck with 1 for a bit, then down to 0. 

That’s just one example, but it’s a good one.  My main reason at the time for decreasing was focus and time.  It just took too much of my energy, and I didn’t feel like I could control it.  Pretty practical right?  I have a job.  A social life.  Responsibilities.  When I would share with people that I was weaning or had weaned, it felt respectable.  Like I’m taking control back of my life.  Which, sure, whatever.  There’s truth in that.  There was also an unspoken mourning of the loss of something I really enjoyed, and so I had to project that I was “better off.”

My Attention and Affection

Okay so it’s 2022.  Football season just started.  I wish I could tell you how many years it’s been since my last Fantasy team.  Let’s call it 4 years.  (which in the history of Fantasy is like 4 decades).  I turn CBS on to watch the Steelers, and as the game goes on, I’m struck by the score ticker at the bottom.  And what caught my attention was how much I used to care about every detail of every game.  Because not only did I have players on multiple teams playing who at any moment could run the ball 15 yards to net me a cool 1.5 points, but I had to think of (and temporarily hate!) my opponent’s players on all the teams.

And God forbid any of their players are on the Steelers.  There’s a real emotional rollercoaster.  THEN multiply all those factors by the number of leagues, and the end result is I CARE ABOUT EVERY PASS, RUN, TD, INT, FUMBLE, GAME, 25 YDS PASSING, 10 YDS RUSHING, 10 YDS RECEIVING, WHISTLE, PENALTY….For 17 weeks.

And that’s just on Sunday.

I have all the Monday post-game analysis convos with friends, co-workers, in person, texting, slacking, Monday Night Football, etc.  Then I need to keep my eye on the waiver wire because the 2nd yr receiver on the Bears got 10 targets and even though he only caught 4 for 43 yards and a TD, the Bears’ QB1 was injured and QB2 has great on-field chemistry with said WR.

It’s Tuesday, time to start thinking about roster for Sunday.  

I could go on and on.  And extrapolate this out to include other sports throughout the year, all with their respective Fantasy leagues, and you get the point.  This stuff took up a TON of my attention.

And so there came a point for me where the internal dialogue with myself and the Holy Spirit (he wasn’t always given access to this area) became less about taking back control of my life and more about what was getting my attention and affection.  The hard truth for me was Fantasy Football, Football, and we might as well just say Sports in general, had all become idols in my life.  Idols with deep roots.  They had my loyalty.

If I’m a Christian

And that’s a troubling thought for someone who calls himself a Christian.  If I’m a Christian, here’s what’s true about me:  I was designed by God, for God.  I was made to run on Him.  Meaning He is my fuel.  He sustains me.  Jesus is my life.  Not just my religion or the stamp of approval on all my choices to make me feel better.  No.  At the core of me, I belong to Him.  He belongs on the throne of my heart and deserves my entire loyalty.  That is the deepest truth about me as a human being.  As a man. 

And so out of that place, I have to take an honest inventory of my life, how I spend my time, what I’m giving myself to.  And if something (or someone) other than Jesus is on the throne of my heart in any area of my life, then I need to decide how to change that.

So as I engaged the Holy Spirit more on the matter, took stock of my loyalties, and made constructive changes, I gradually began to experience a freedom I never had known before.  A freedom to engage or not engage.  And the decisions started to come from a conscious choice birthed out of desire.  True desire.  Because I still really enjoyed football.  I still got locked in and hype during a game.  I still dropped into ESPN regularly to check standings, stats and scores.  The difference was my level of emotional engagement during a game and throughout the whole season (aka less mood swings directly tied to outcomes of games and seasons). 

Nudges

So fast forward back to today.  I engage in zero fantasy sports.  I watch way less football than I used to, but I will selectively choose a game to watch here and there.  I’m still pretty plugged into how the season’s progressing and stay on top of it enough to engage in casual conversation.  Again, I enjoy football.  There’s nothing inherently wrong with it.  But I do have to regularly check my heart to see if I’ve gone and made an idol out of the game again (this goes for NBA and MLB too).

I also have come to realize what I’m up against, which makes these choices all the more important.  We live in a unique time where media has limitless access to us through various devices at all hours of the day.  This is unlike any other period in history.  Andy Crouch puts it this way in his book The Tech-Wise Family:

“We are continually being nudged by our devices toward a set of choices. The question is whether those choices are leading us to the life we actually want. I want a life of conversation and friendship, not distraction and entertainment; but every day, many times a day, I’m nudged in the wrong direction. One key part of the art of living faithfully with technology is setting up better nudges for ourselves.”

His idea of “nudges” is so on point.  With every decision (or non-decision) made over an extended period of time, habits are formed.  And because our society and culture are heavily influenced and controlled by powers and principalities behind the scenes, the media “nudges” are almost always going to lead away from union with God and towards drifting into passivity and idolatry.  And so to truly and freely enjoy football out of being wholehearted, I believe we need to actively and regularly thwart our flesh and the enemy’s attempts to numb us into the doldrums.  

Here are some ideas, or “nudges,” to help start taking control back without abandoning something that we have so much invested in (team loyalty and memorabilia, social status and relationships, emotional attachment, genuine desire).  Some I have tried and still use effectively, others are ideas born of the same spirit and for the same goal:

• Schedule how many times you check your fantasy app on Sunday.  Could be at the top of every hour.  At kickoff, halftime, and postgame.  
• Keep your eyes on the game, not the ticker.  
• Don’t flip back and forth between Fox and CBS.  Pick 1 game to watch.
• Pick 1 game to watch all day on Sunday.
• Mute commercials.
• Ignore the waiver wire for a week or 2.
• Go 1 week without reading/listening to/watching any sort of analysis of games coming up or games that happened
• Participate in 1 less fantasy league next year 

The common thread through each of these ideas is we’re exerting self-control, putting a boundary in place, and thwarting the default mode our flesh goes into.

Another way of thinking of this is as a mini-fast.  When we deny our flesh by fasting (and you can fast from anything, not just food/drink), we lessen its grip on us.  And in doing so we create space for God.

As John Eldredge likes to say “it’s a gnarly time to be a human being.”  And he usually says it in reference to the complexity of all that is happening in our world.  The enemy is hellbent on rendering men ineffective, passive, and impotent.  I believe football, fantasy sports, and sports in general are major tools he uses.  God designed us to be passionate.  There’s a warrior in every man’s heart.  A battle to fight, and a kingdom to rule.  A woman and children to love in many cases.  A world to influence for the Kingdom.  There’s so much more than “the game’s on.” But we allow our battle to be fought for us by a bunch of jacked dudes in tight pants. Our passion is spent in their trenches while we drink Miller Light and eat wings.

While we’re surrounded by these influences, we’re not without hope and not without a way to exert self-control over areas in our lives that at the moment are out of control.

“But take heart!  I have overcome the world.”  John 16:33